The skies were blue and the wind gentle and warm this afternoon when South Okanagan Women in Need Society executive director Debbie Scarborough took to the Rotary Park stage to make the announcement. The 2019 SOWINS Walk to End Abuse had raised in excess of $47,000, with more money rolling in.
That's potentially the most SOWINS has ever raised through the Walk, now in its sixth year, and sits just shy of the society's $50,000 goal - a goal that should easily be surpassed by the event's June 17th donation deadline.
But as thrilled as Scarborough was with the total - and she was certainly that if the little dance she did just prior to the announcement was any indication - she ditched the hoopla immediately afterward and went back to business while talking with PentictonNow.
"It's wonderful of course," she said, "but if everyone commits to not doing an act of violence or abuse, we're already there. There's no need for our services. We're happy to be without a job."
That's the nature of Scarborough's society. It's great when an event hauls in a good crowd and the fundraising is successful, and it's especially nice when you see so many smiles. But it would be even better if the money wasn't needed in the first place.
But it is. Take veteran SOWINS volunteer Diane Fru. Fru does what she does because she knows it's crucial. And she knows it's crucial because she lived it.
"I married the wrong person," she said just prior to today's walk. "He was a correctional guard, and he worked shifts. And he'd come home at night and start beating me up."
"So I'd get my babies up and take them to a motel. I didn't know there were transition houses back then. My kids were born in '73 and '74. Finally, it was my friends and my church family that got me out of that relationship."
The abuse began immediately after her wedding , said Fru. "The day we got married, there were only two people we knew because we moved into a new area, and after they left, he started that night. It was just...unbelievable."
Fru's story and rationalization is not dissimilar to that of the people SOWINS helps today."So I thought I had to put up with it because I couldn't go anywhere, couldn't do anything about it. And I had two children..."
Leaving him didn't end the fear.
"So I finally got out, and he started stalking me. I got a job with the provincial government, and was furthering my education at BCIT."
"I had a babysitter in the house. I drove by the front of the house and parked in the back, and there he was, in his car. And I thought no, I'm not going in. So I made sure he saw me, and then drove several blocks away. I put my hand on the horn and I honked and honked and eventually somebody came out on their deck. And I said, 'Call the police.'"
And that wasn't the only instance. "Another time he got in the house. And I phoned my church and said, 'He's here.' And they said, 'Lock yourself in the bathroom.'"
"So my two children and I locked ourselves in the bathroom, and when he came into the house, I said, 'The church is on its way and so are the police.' And he left."
Beyond the painful memories and the victimization, Fru to this day feels guilt. "I don't know what sort of damage I did to my kids by staying in that relationship. They're happy with their lives now, but they remember even now the time we locked ourselves in that bathroom."
Fru retired from her business life in 2014, but wanted to continue putting in hours for a charity. Her son suggested SOWINS. And she's been volunteering with them ever since.
Today, she was particularly psyched about an anonymous $1,000 donation she says came through a neighbour. "Her dad has a business in town, and because she and I are friends, he donated $1,000 for today's walk."
"We've never had the kind of money we have this year going into the walk," she said proudly, moments before the crowd of walkers, many of them cheering, took off on their journey to the SS Sicamous.
If you're interested in contributing to the South Okanagan Women In Need Society, head to the website.
